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It always comes back to the older brother…

Ten years ago I read “The Return of the Prodigal Son” by Henri Nouwen. It changed my perspective on the grace of God and of our invitation to extend that grace to others. It seemed so profound to me that the Older brother needed grace too…he was the one who stayed, who did all the things he was supposed to do.

And yet he was empty…as broken as his younger brother and in need of the Father’s mercy.

I was wandering around one day trying to figure out how I could be more useful to God. How could I do this Christian life and ministry thing “right”… it suddenly dawned on me that I am still doing it…trying to be good enough. I’m hoping in the end that he’ll say, “Yes, that was enough.” And I’m missing the point…again. Shoot.

And then I stopped, and for about 20 minutes I rested in the fact that the Father has invited me in. I accepted his invitation, and I sat with him in grace. I realized in that moment that I will always be coming back to this place, and I will never be able to love Christ if I continue to hold on to this burden to “get it right.”

Oh but how I sometimes would like to experience what my younger brother experienced…what was it like out there in the world of no limits? No boundaries. But then he tells me about his journey home, and I grieve with him. I hope that together we can find a way to live in the Father’s house, learning from one another how to honour and love Him with everything in us.  That we will no longer run away or sulk out in the rain, but see His goodness, his kindness, his love.

Isn’t this the marriage of Obedience and Grace?

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The importance of place

I’m preparing to head home for an extended visit.  I have been moaning about the flight, the length of time I’ll be away, the packing up and being unsettled for 6 weeks.  But today I was looking through a friend’s pictures of her baby (who’s not so much a baby anymore), and I remembered…

I remembered how I have been shaped by God in the different places I’ve lived, and through all the people I’ve known and loved.  I remembered heartaches and joys that were shared within communities.  I remembered the joy of walking with each of my friends as they got married…the joy for some of their first kids…the waiting together for things that each of us have hoped for.  I realized that as Glasgow becomes more and more home, Orange County’s significance will never diminish.

The long walks on the beach where God has spoken truth that cut straight to my heart…the years of youth ministry and the relationships that continue beyond them…the shaping of my heart to become open and vulnerable to God and to others…the university campus which I walked day in and day out for years, and where I learned to wrestle with God…the homes I lived in with various roommates and families.  There are so many things that God uses to shape us in life, and to revisit them is precious.2007_1017furlough0020

I am looking forward to sitting on the cliffs at Corona del Mar, walking barefoot on the warm concrete and sand, lunch at the Gypsy Den, and a trip to the Buffalo Exchange.  I can’t wait to squeeze Isaiah and Aaron, and my dear friend Debbie. To share stories with “Cathy’s group” and my old “d-group”…May we hold the places and the people who are dear to us, value the ways we have walked together, and honour each other’s stories.

What are the places and people that you love?

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Happy Thanksgiving!

2008_1127phone0039I was honoured to spend Thanksgiving with the George family here in Hungary.  We made a “Thanksgiving Tree” out of things that we are thankful for.  When you look at how many things there are…just off the top of your head even, you realize that we really do have a lot to be thankful for.

This trip has been absolutely fabulous, and still with 3 more fun-filled days to go!

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Erzsi

2008_1122phone0007Erzsi was the translator for the womens weekend, and can I just tell you how fabulous she is?  This woman knows the power of prayer, and is so open to what God is saying to her.

I learned so much from her this weekend.  When everyone else was in small groups, she would teach me wee words in Hungarian, or share what God was saying to her.  I am blessed to have this new friend.  Thank you Erzsi!

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Szia!

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Day one in Hungary is ending.  Adventures included a long lie in, baked oatmeal, a walk to school, WARM weather and sun, garlic soup, a meeting with Erszi, Donna and I, porkchops with mashed potatoes and apples, and the beginning of a girly movie marathon (Love Comes Softly)…phew!

I am so glad to be here, and am fully looking forward to the weekend.  There are now 35 women coming, and, having talked it all through, I am convinced it’s going to be a fantastic weekend.

Picture is the sunset off the George’s balcony.  To the right is a very cool church but my camera battery died so will have to snap that later.